I am Whole Again

At 19,  I was no longer contented with my Php120.00 to 150.00 daily allowance to school. I'd feel lucky if mom gives me 200! When you are in college you have to allot budget for movies, night outs (I mean, date with friends at Mc Donalds Bajada, hahahaha!), cellphone load, etc. These are on top of my expenses for daily travel from home to school and back, photocopy of reading materials, meals, and incidental expenses such as trip to Baguio to visit boyfie all the way from Davao, for one. Lol! :)

And so one day, I printed out my resume, hit an interview in a jobs fair and signed a full-time job contract! It was all unplanned and happened in less than an hour! Everything went so quickly that I did not have the time to ask questions about what I was jumping myself into. I was such a fool to believe that I can juggle work and school, and perhaps lovelife, all at the same time. But I tried. There was a time that I woke up in a classroom with unfamiliar faces. Times when I went to work in complete uniform. But who's complaining? 

I liked the kind of freedom my salary gave me. I feel ecstatic everytime I bring home grocery, or when I pay electric and water bills, or when I take my mom for a spa day out. I feel comf'table leaving home without worrying if I have enough budget for the day, or trying new restaurants with friends. Mom stopped asking why I go home late, or who I was with. I started making huge decisions on my own. I felt empowered. 

So I guess if you started working at an early age, you will never get used to staying at home. When I was on maternity leave, I became more dramatic. Maybe because I had lesser "say" on things. I could not decide on how we spend our household budget - I had to consult my husband first. Our priorities have drastically changed. I felt insecure when I wanted to drag myself to the salon for a footspa, mani and pedi and could not do so - feeling so guilty with just the thought of spending my husband's hard earned money. No more impulsive shopping and unplanned dates. I felt so little.

Now that I am, once again, part of the work force, I am so excited to meet new people from different walks of life. I am excited to share a part of who I am. I am looking forward to hitting the grocery once I receive my first pay. I just love shopping with carts and not minding how long the tab would be! I would perhaps take my family out on a lunch date! Or maybe buy tix to Cebu for an adult and a child. Maybe Davao! :) I can feel it, I am whole again :)