Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Surviving the Distance

Deployment is such a strange word for me. I consider myself as one of the lucky airforce wives. When I think of deployment, I would imagine him being in a far flung area where cellular signal is a luxury. Times spent waiting for calls; patience stretched by distance. That did not happen even after he left the portals of the academy. Did not happen even after receiving his first long pay. Did not happen until earlier this May. 

Before Huey came to our life, following my husband to wherever he is was just a few clicks away. The thought of deployment was then not so scary. Unknown, but not scary. We always manage to see each other very often. Everything changed when a baby was included in the picture. I instantly became a geographically single mom. My husband might have pampered me so much that the minute he left, life turned into one hell of a bumpy ride! My mom-tuition was immediately put into test, so did my wife-skill. 

I sometimes feel that I was left with all the burden of making both ends meet. Complaining can get so tiring and sometimes you just feel so sorry to even complain. He is, after all, deployed and is trying to save the world. The list of disappointments and heartaches are infinite and I sometimes become unreasonable, and think of just dropping the ball and go home to Davao. But you know, marriage is a constant challenge as my mom would always tell me. Having a carreer is one way of keeping your sanity. Sticking with real friends who know your battle would be great, too! And sometimes, you just need to hear it from the experts. 

My mommy friend Glaiza of Moomy Musings, who is also an army wife, introduced me to The Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman. She sent me a link where I had to answer a series of questions and at the end of the test, it will generate an interpretation on what your love language is. It helped me understand my attitude towards love. Currently I am subscribed to Gary Chapman on Facebook and receives love advise every now and then. Start Marriage Right is also a great site. It reminds me that marriage is not something you live with, but something you love. Unlike deployment, marriage is one thing you do not opt to survive. That, perhaps, is a different story! When you feel like hanging on the edge of patience, try 7 Ways to Bite Your Tongue in Marriage by iMom. This one encourages couples to take time in gathering thoughts and reconcile judgment over reasons during an arguement. 

There is endless possibilities in marriage, mine isn't perfect, and I am a wife in progress. So why surround your self with negative influences? Remember, you are never alone. There may be times when you feel like you carry too much luggage on both shoulders. Falter not, let go and let God. We are strong with our partners on our side, but deployment makes us stronger. You survive deployment, you survive all possible heartaches. Let's keep our spirits high and survive deployment with a smile! Uwaah!

P.S. Do you have any books you can recommend to my fellow military wives? Share your thoughts on the comment box! :)


Glaiza Garcia-Tominio said...

Mars, I'm reading now a book called "Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement For Military Wives." I just don't know if this is available here in the Philippines because it was just a gift from a missionary friend from the US.

There's also the Five Love Languages for Children, good read as well. Gary Chapman is a good author and his other books on marriage are also very well-written.

Christine Joy Moncano - de Castro said...

Will google that book mare! :D Will visit again the 5 Languages of Love Website for Children naman :D Korek, Gary Chapman inspires me talaga to be a better wife/person. Is planning to buy "When Sorry Isn't Enough" when I receive my first pay :D

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