Two days before my birthday and my husband's starting to ask what gift I wanted for my day. I honestly do not have anything in mind other than a hot, steamy..that thing adults do - you know what I mean, right? Haha! :) C'mon! Spare me with your judgment, it's my birthday month!
I don't know if it comes with age, but flowers, or chocolates do not strike me that much as it did when I was 18. It could be good news to my husband as all it takes to make me happy is him exercising his human rights and that funny muscle (LOL) yet I have other wishes which could be a little complicated than hugs and kisses.
Whatever I do, I do it with love, passion, and all things nice. :) I always seek change for efficiency, perfection, and going above and beyond anybody's expectations. I expect EVERBODY else to do the same thing. I expect NOTHING but excellence! And I feel like the lack of ambition and value for excellence is the very reason why people continue to do the same shit all over again. They refuse to unlock endless possibilities just because it requires change. And I feel impatient for these kind of people. I have little to no patience for stupidity and nonsensical work ethics. And then one day, it hit me. That, my folks, is a recipe for destruction. Signs would be paranoia, fear of failure which could result to a more destructive leadership behavior - micromanagement. You simply CANNOT expect everyone to think like you do. I maybe an ambitious, confident mature woman but that doesn't mean my judgment is always right. People are TOO QUICK TO JUDGE as to how lazy a person is just because he turned down a promotion or just TOO QUICK TO QUIT CARING just because someone doesn't show interest or doesn't get the instructions the first time (or maybe the second time). I wish I could always remember to pause, take a deep breath and flash an understanding smile before reacting. Listen before speaking. Nod instead of frown. I need more patience.
MORE PATIENCE. YUP. MAYBE A LITTLE MORE UNDERSTANDING.
A couple of days ago I almost got myself into an argument just because I felt being attacked. Anything you say against my friends, my colleagues or my love ones is like saying something about me. Some people are just not so good about positioning their selves into a situation or maybe a conversation; or not very good with their choice of words, or tone of voice. Not that I'm a pro on these departments but I know that some things are need to know basis, that you cannot curse someone you just met (unless of course if they are being a jerk or a douchebag), and nobody likes unsolicited advice especially on parenthood and marriage. Again, patience and understanding for these people. I need to get over myself and understand that not everything is about myself.
AVOID THINKING TOO MUCH.
Yeah, I like stressing myself out. If something comes up I couldn't stop thinking about it until it's resolved. I realized though that 50% of the things I regarded as unwelcome are not real problems. Tell me I'm crazy. I worry too much. Plan too much. Think too much. It's killing me.. I wish my husband would always be here to say his famous line, "Don't worry yourself." Yep. He's crazy, too!
While I have other things I wish I could have on my birthday like hundreds of millions of dollars, these are the things I want NOW. I know, I have patience issues. At the end of the day, I just wanted to become a better person. A year older, and wiser! :)